Kristine Leschper's Ode to Growth

Kristine Leschper by Tyler Borchardt

Before my discussion with artist Kristine Leschper on her latest album The Opening, Or Closing Of A Door, I remembered seeing her band Mothers open for Car Seat Headrest in San Francisco during my first year of college in 2015. “Wow, yeah at Rickshaw Stop I believe,” she recalled over the phone. For myself, this was a “full circle” moment. The new record is a first in many instances for Leschper, and within it runs a thread of circularity.

The Opening, Or Closing Of A Door marks the first time music for Leschper was released under her given name as opposed to her band Mothers, which the moniker is now retired. Compared to the more brooding, post punk nature of the former band, Lespcher utilized new methods of music creation to establish vast songs that were inspired by her community and the ever-evolving progress of sustaining a healthier mindset. We talked about her time spent in isolation due to the pandemic and the growth that came of it.

Let’s start with the name change from Mothers to your own. Did the latest music direction drive this change or was it something you thought about while still performing under the previous moniker?

• I think, for some time, I had been interested in sort of moving away from the Mothers moniker even while I was making music and touring with that project. But I would say the real tipping point, and kind of what, what really convinced me to shift into making music under my own name was just that in early 2020, I experienced what I will just call a massive shift in perspective, in my personal worldview. It was the first time in my life that I really got on top of a long struggle with depression and as I was working on music during this time, I found that things were coming out of like a totally different part of me that I hadn't really tapped into before. And I mean, really, during this time, like something happened that I never would have expected to happen, which was I became an optimist. I think that as someone who was dealing with depressive episodes and anxiety for most of my life, I think that some of those experiences really hardened me and made me quite cynical.

  I think that there is an attitude to the music and the Mothers discography that I was a bit ready to let go and move away from I think, because it felt so rooted in these kind of ironic or cynical attitudes that I that don't quite speak to me anymore. In a lot of ways, the music that I'm making now is, was very much written to be shared. And it was written to be music that would be uplifting to me as I was writing it, playing it, sharing it and something that could hopefully also lift others as they heard it. Whereas the mother's discography, that music was really made out of this sense of urgency that I just needed to get through something. So really, just a different place where the music is coming from and it felt like it would be not only a name change, but just really like a 180. And it felt just so refreshing to kind of move into this new space and to feel like I was carving out something fresh for myself that wasn't bogged down by this very difficult, older music.

With the pandemic having horrible effects on normal living, there are sometimes small silver linings found such as making music at home. What was the process like to utilize home recording as opposed to hitting a studio due to stay at home orders? Did you prefer this method?

• The effects of COVID have been so devastating and far reaching and have affected people in such different ways. And it's interesting you talk about this silver lining, which I personally have definitely experienced and seen in a lot of my peers in this sense that there's been a bit of a renegotiation of values and of priorities. For me personally, I was feeling extremely burnt out, working a full time restaurant job when COVID got really bad. I was laid off from that job and honestly, I think that it was a big part of my healing journey, because it provided this time that I had never had before, where I was able to really focus on getting the help that I needed. I had never felt like I could take the time out of the grind of just getting by to do that work for myself. And so I think the circumstances of the lockdown and losing my job were such a catalyst for this healing that I was able to go through. There's cognitive dissonance there, right, where the pandemic has been such a disaster and has harmed and killed so many people. It's a challenging thing to negotiate, I think, to be grateful for the things that I've been able to experience within that structure and to also mourn for all of the suffering that has come from it. But this was kind of the backdrop of me working on this music and doing the home recording.

  This is the first music that I thoroughly demoed before booking any studio time. I found that I really, really love music production and I'd never considered that part of my process before. I'd always been a songwriter, a singer, a guitar player, but had never considered recording to be an extension of that process and another instrument that could be used. I found that I really, really thrive just spending a lot of time sitting with a sound and exploring the different ways that it can kind of move through space. And so that I think was a really big shift for me. And also, because I was spending a lot of time alone working on this music, I was learning new instruments. I was playing different instruments on recording that I had never played before, like bass, and I was programming drums. All of these things kind of gave me a new sense of independence and confidence going into this music.

Kristine Leschper by Tyler Borchardt

Every song sounds vast, and there is this ongoing theme of cyclical nature. Was the idea of circularity always part of your belief system or did it become a greater presence while recording the LP?

• I think that these ideas were really becoming a bigger part of my life in 2020. Honestly, I think that part of what allowed me to start working through my depression was to see myself as less of an individual and more as a small piece of a system and a group of systems. To become more permeable to my environment, it was really healing to start thinking of myself as you know, an organism in this environment who will live and die, and in death, my body can provide some kind of nutrients for the organisms that will come after me. Seeing myself as this very transient thing I think helps me feel less depressed. Those ideas are so intrinsic to this music because the idea of life cycles, environmental cycles, the weather cycles, I found those to be really encouraging.

I imagine experiencing that self-awareness while creating new music must have felt therapeutic in a way.

• I found it to be totally energizing. I felt so energized by this music. I think that at the heart of it, as humans, we have this really strong desire to be understood. To connect. To see yourself as part of a community, whether that's like a literal thing, like a local community that you live within, or whether you're considering that to be the world community, or even an environmental community. I learned to get out of these habits of thinking of myself as such an individual. And it was never that I felt that I was so special or so important. It was kind of the opposite. I felt un-special, unimportant. And I learned that when I see myself as moving within these systems and moving within a community, I feel important and special in the ways that I can be of service to others. That was incredibly energizing.

During the recording process, did you have any conflicting thoughts of possibly upsetting fans by the new musical direction? Some listeners want their favorite artists to change but not too much and also sound like they always do but not too much as well. It’s sort of a thin line.

• I know exactly what you mean (laughs). I have a lot of experience with this, as an artist who has recorded and re recorded songs, like a number of times. I've learned that after someone hears a song one way, they really don't want to hear it another way. Something that's interesting to me about music is the range of possibilities of different ways that music could be arranged and sometimes that evolves over time. I find that really fun and interesting. So there have been a number of times that I've had an older song that I've recorded one way, and then I've decided to record it again, down the road with a different arrangement style. Some listeners have a really hard time with that. It can also be the same thing interestingly enough with a recorded version of a song versus a live version of a song.

  What I will say about that is my favorite artists of all time are artists who are always changing. Someone who comes to mind right away is Sparks. Their albums were constantly changing, they were restless, they were experimenting and trying different things. They had a really hard time ever making it into the mainstream, even with some popular songs. It was really challenging to their listeners. They're an iconic, beloved band, but they still, you know, in some ways are just kind of making it into more into the mainstream and a lot of people still don't know them. So, you know, I think I would encourage anyone making music or any kind of art at all to just do exactly what they want to do. I think the best work that you will ever do is work that you love. Sounds incredibly cliche it's just true. The times that I have tried to make things from an uninspired place has been really devastating to work on and to share with people because there were things that I didn't believe in.

  I also sometimes feel like an artist who doesn't have a particular instrument. I'm kind of always moving between different things because I get a bit impatient and I'm a very curious person. So I, you know, when I hit a wall with one instrument, I might just kind of want to try something else for a while and see what it's like to write songs on that instrument. That's inherently going to change the way that the songs are written, you know? And so, I don't know, I think it's important to have a capacity for curiosity and discovery and I think that, for me, those are always the things that guide a creative process.

Kristine Leschper by Tyler Borchardt

With not only keeping true to yourself as an artist but as a person too, what was it like to feature some of your loved ones on the track “Compass”?

• It is a combination of friends and family on that recording, some which were recorded in a room together, some were recorded just at home, like I had some friends just send things in because they live in different states. It was also COVID. So that part of the song sounds kind of strange, in which I think maybe comes from the fact that several of the singers were in one room together, but then a lot of the vocals were just sent to me in an email from a friend who I asked to sing on it. There's this kind of dichotomy of very warm, live, in a room together vocals, and then there are all these very dry digital solo vocals. I wrote it as a love song to myself and my friends. A song about being grateful to those who have been there for me, and those who I would like to be there for now, and in the future. Selfishly, part of the reason I decided to record it this way, was because I really wanted to have a recording of my family singing together. I'd never had anything like that before. and I was thinking about how special it would be years and years into the future to listen back to the song. To have my mom, my dad, my sister, and my brother in law, singing with me. I just wanted that as a souvenir to bring with me into the future. And then from that, I realized that I could also invite friends to sing on it. It feels like quite literally being lifted by all of these voices and I think metaphorically that's so apt for this song that is about lifting people up and being lifted up by other people.

It’s amazing that they all participated in your creative vision. There wasn’t any sort of struggle to get them on the song?

• It was very difficult to convince them (laughs). I did it over a holiday when we were all together and I pulled out a microphone. They were reluctant and said things like “we can’t sing, we’re not singers.” It was a very vulnerable moment we shared because they felt like they couldn't sing and I was able to bring something out of them. I hope they can listen back to the song and feel this moment that we shared together that was very close and something that we had never experienced before.

That plays beautifully into the themes of the album. You being into visual art as well, what were the ideas that went behind your music videos for “Ribbon” and “Picture Window”?

• With the “Ribbon” video, I was really excited at that time to work with this puppetry company called Bread and Puppet Theatre. They’re a very radical puppetry group that were popularized somewhat during the Vietnam protests in New York City. They created these huge puppets that you can see in photos from that time. What I was really excited about was not only their artistry but there was a sense of sustainability and environmentalism to everything they do. They make great props for their performances but they’re made of cheap reusable material like cardboard and papermache with recycled paper. Nothing is bought new and is made as cheaply as possible. I wanted to work on this set design for the video, and there’s a really incredible business group in Philadelphia called The Resource Exchange. Basically their whole model is diverting art supplies and props from major motion pictures out of landfills for reuse. I was able to find almost all the materials for the video from there. There was a lot of labor and help from friends that went into it and there was something special about not spending a lot of money on something and choosing to not be wasteful with the materials. It was kind of its own community so the process becomes very special.

  For “Picture Window” I am honestly not someone who cares too much abut music videos. Kind of scary to say that because people are very protective of them, but it’s never felt particularly important to me, but they can be fun to make. That song is such an auditory experience. I had a lot of fun creating that sonic landscape so I didn’t want to create a video that was too loud and would take away from just listening to that song. Thinking back to something Bjork says about her videos; she thinks of them as visualizers that ease listeners into her music. I wanted the video to move really slowly so I used time lapses of like waterfalls.

With a new album out, it can only be anticipated that Leschper will tour. She didn’t want to mention too much, but she did tease as to what can be expected. “I am excited to say that I am working on something very special for later this year,” she expressed with animation. She also shared how the record is not so much one to play in front of audiences, because it wasn’t created in that way. Many instruments were played as a trio and a lot of sounds were tracked on top of that. “I’ve been working on this music for a long time, but the process of making it live is so different than the process of making the record.”

She definitely seems excited by this new challenge and is feeling the same energy that fueled her into this new creative path while making An Opening, Or Closing Of A Door. Leschper mentioned a time during the process of creating the video for “Picture Window” where she experienced a sunset over a riverbed. She was gracious to see the river continue to flow whether the sun was warming it or being out of sight. Leschper’s musical talents continue to flourish into the spaces that allow them in, and I am confident in saying that her cycle of growth in all aspects of the word will flow just as the river did throughout the changes that make themselves present.

Thanks for the conversation Kristine Leschper.